The mindf**k of the ego

What are you blaming yourself for?

Your ego, you really need it to materialize things in this world. But, your ego also plays a game with you. It’s criticizing you. It piles you up with loads of guilt feelings: “I should have known better”, “ I didn’t take the right strategy”. We all know it’s no use to blame ourselves, but still we do. It’s our ego that tends to live in the past and judges us for taking “wrong” decisions.

Like a child I’m walking on the steel rail of an old railway track, balancing myself. What happens if I fall? If I fall, I dive into a depth of an amazing 5 centimeters! I just shrug my shoulders, step back on the track and continue my journey. 

Daily life is also often a balancing act. Most of the time there’s no major fall. I fall and get up again easily. But, hey, my ego likes to challenge me and is always very willing to push me of this railway track, offering me a deep hole on both sides.

When this happens to me, I question myself. I find the questions that Byron Katie teaches us in her “The Work” very helpful: “Is it true?” “Is it really true?”.

Is it true that I should have known better? Am I really the one to blame or is it just a story my ego made up? 

I won’t allow my ego punishing me for what should have been different in the past. What I did in the past was just the right way of dealing with the situation, because it was the right thing to do with the knowlegde and skills I had back then. The only way to look at in the present is to do a self check and use all the new knowledge and insights that I gain from it for the way I handle future challenges. 

After all knowledge afterwards is always knowledge afterwards. 

Dutch version of Byron Katie’s book: Vier vragen die je leven veranderen – ISBN 90 274 7859 7

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