I’m reading a book, Jackdaws by Ken Follett. It’s about the resistance in France during the Second World War. It’s a good book. But that’s not what this blog is about. In the book I read a phrase: 

“Part of the time, I have to confess, I was composing wittily crushing remarks I could have made if only I had thought of them in time.” 

It strikes me. 

I know this feeling. The feeling that after a conversation when I reflect upon what happened, I get a whole bunch of ideas of possible reactions, but… I didn’t react that way. The moment is gone. Sadly, because I would have been more interesting, alert, witty, smart, sharp or what ever I wished to have been at that moment, but… I wasn’t.

It just makes me wonder. Why do we want to be different from who we really are? Why is it so hard to accept that we reacted in the way we did, which was obviously the only way at that certain moment in time. Why do we keep on punishing ourselves with the ‘I should have’? Why can’t we just accept what we did answer, leave it that way and move on? 

I don’t hold the key to that, obviously, I know the feeling very well myself. Reflecting on it, it feels to me that this must be something about living in the now. If I live in the now, there’s no way I can tell myself ‘I should have’ or ‘next time I will…’. There simply is no past and therefore no judgment on my previous activities. There’s only now. 

In the now there’s just my endless list of self confidence about who I am: I’m interesting, alert, witty, smart, sharp, or whatever I wish to be at that moment.

I love the now!

_{^{© Pamela Cools – Wake up your wisdom}}

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Thank you for reading my blogs. If you wish to read more, have a look below, or check my blog page. Warm regards, Pamela